- Anti Joke

Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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