what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops