Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What stops a train? A missile

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops