I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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My dad

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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