What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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