Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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