What long black and tasty? Licorice

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I don't get it

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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