Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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Women's professional sports

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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I am quite mature.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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