Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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America

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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