Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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I'm hungry.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops