How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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