Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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I'm rick james bitch

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops