your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops