A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

- Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -40

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops