How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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