numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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