There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

Frontbut-

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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