A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

A: Knock Knock B: 7

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

find the o 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duh its up top

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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