Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Please don't shoot me

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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