What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops