Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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