Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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An man walks to a bra

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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