Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops