Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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