What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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