Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops