Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Do you play piano? No

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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a man was shot.... he died

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops