HEY YOU! TISSUE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jersey Shore.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

people magazine

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops