I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Once, I went to Peru.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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