An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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