A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My mom

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

thumb_up thumb_down -31

homosexual rights to marriage

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats 7+4? 74

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops