What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops