Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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Jersey Shore.

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people magazine

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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