What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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fridge

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops