- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

fridge

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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