What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Massie is a fatass

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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