What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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