A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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