Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops