Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops