Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops