How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Once upon a time a was born

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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