Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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