Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Manchester City

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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