What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Women's Rights..

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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A man walks into a bar

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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