The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Charles Manson is innocent.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

69

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -29

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops