An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops