don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Diarrhea

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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salad days!

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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