What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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