A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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