10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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