Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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stinky boner

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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