There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops